On the Subject of TV and Why You Should Stop Watching Modern Family and Raise Your Standards A Bit

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Before anything else, before I berate the average TV viewer for giving the same old shit staggering Nielsen ratings, I’ll say I need to catch up on Gotham. I really do.

To be perfectly honest, I’ve never been a big DC fan and the Christian Bale Batman movies killed off what Joel Schumacher’s Batman movies missed regarding my interest in Batman. I make no bones about being a Marvel girl anyway.

But my strange ladyboner for Donal Logue keeps me watching.  Or, I guess it’s not strange, being a redheaded Celt myself. It’s probably something primal and biological in me that’s saying something like, “go forth and make more gingers. And those gingers shall be the finest warriors in the land. Now, ride him like your ancestors rode to kill the Anglo-Saxons.” Or something. Sorry, Donal, if this comes up in a Google Alert for you. My bad. You’re hot.

And I’m sure that Gotham is a great show beyond its fantastic cast. But I’m just Batman-ed out a bit.

Speaking of superheroes, Agent Carter is fantastic and you should all watch it. I’m about 5 seconds away from buying an all 1940s wardrobe and making pincurls and the victory rolls. But beyond that, I’m loving everything about it. Peggy Carter is amazing. I normally love a good lady villain, but Hayley Atwell is killing it and she’s just so freaking charming I can’t even stand it. And the guy who plays Jarvis is not only handsome and has an ocean full of chemistry with Peggy, he also reminds me of a more accessible Benedict Cumberbatch.

Same with Galavant. I wish ABC hadn’t given it the Sunday night kiss of death. I’ve dealt with ABC, Disney, and other Disney owned entertainment companies starting from when I was a lowly cast member at Disney. If they don’t believe in something or someone, they will bury it. Even if it’s currently the funniest half hour on tv.

Tim Omundson is a dream and I love the way he chews up the scenery. He looks like he’s having a blast. Everyone in the cast is on point, though. And the writing is spectacular. Everyone has been going on about Alan Menkin and his songs, so I won’t go into them here (besides, as a 90s kid and a Disney cast member during a time AFTER the golden rebirth and before Frozen, the Magic Kingdom was still very much all about everything between The Little Mermaid and Mulan and it was overkill. And I always liked The Sherman Brothers‘ music better anyway)

And, as a former Disney cast member, I can tell you that the show is strangely like being backstage at Disney. Horny, apathetic royals. Drunks who haven’t bathed in awhile. Out of shape singers and dancers who can barely make it through a number. It’s like Spinal Tap or Waiting for cast members. Someone on the writing staff just knows what it’s like because he or she has been there.

Rounding out my tv watching these days? Jane the Virgin! When a show’s only flaw is that the writers don’t know that Miami doesn’t have fireflies or that a high end hotel would have hurricane windows capable of withstanding at least a 4 (especially in Miami-Dade after Hurricane Andrew–the one that changed all the standards forever), then I’d say that’s a pretty perfect show.

I’m just getting into Hindsight on VH1, but I like what I’ve seen so far. But I love a good time travel-esque story.

And I find it horribly sad that these shows put together aren’t making the numbers that Modern Family or The Voice or Survivor or whatever other tired, played out show makes on its own.

Piper Doone is the author of the highly rated gay erotic romance, Playing Hard To Forget, available from Amazon and Dreamspinner Press and your favorite ebook retailer in paperback and ebook, and the upcoming Something To Die For, releasing March 2015.

She believes that The Parent Trap (1961) is the single greatest Disney movie of the last sixty years and, when she has enough money saved, she’s going to faithfully recreate Mitch Ever’s Spanish Ranch house right down to the vintage appliances.

She realizes that the inclusion of the above statement negates everything she just said about standards. But she encourages you to watch the shows she listed because they are fantastic and deserve just as much of a chance as Game of Thrones does.

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