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There’s something magical about being at home in your jimjams watching Law and Order SVU reruns on a Saturday night because you woke up with a hangover after seeing Alton Brown’s FANTASTIC live show the night before.

It’s also the one year anniversary of when my husband and I saw Queens of the Stone Age live, so February is becoming the month I breathe the same air as personal heroes, I guess.

I’m celebrating Advil’s victory over my bangin’ headache by mainlining Trader Joe’s Gummi Bears and pretending I’m staying in a fancy hotel paying $12 for a bottle of Fiji water (it’s $2/1.5 liter at Trader Joe’s. Let’s not get ridiculous, certain unnamed hotels in Orlando).

I’m also listening to my daughter play Wham!’s (Wham’s!? The fuck do I put the apostrophe?) “Careless Whisper” on her flute, which is something I need to ask her about because I only know the song because my mother used to live her life according to VH1’s Sunday Brunch when I was a wee Piper, so, really, no one born after 1999 should have an intimate knowledge of Wham!’s back catalog.

This post, much like this entire day, has no point.

Behold my only achievements today:

1) Buying Karkwa’s Les Chemins de Verre because there is nothing more beautifully chaotic than Québécois French (if you don’t believe me, try looking at some of the mail we get on a daily basis with multiple misspellings of our Québécois last name–which, strangely enough is in a Karkwa song, spelled correctly of course). Seriously, though, I don’t care if you can’t speak any kind of French. Get their stuff.

2) It’s called “Tryinn’a blend cheap ass acrylics from Michael’s Arts and Crafts* because I’m too lazy to put on pants and get oils–OR–Joshua Tree Sunset”


*You know what? Not gonna lie here. Those 50 cent bottles of paint are actually really fucking amazing, actually, if you accept the limitations of acrylic paint. I have spent many hours getting lost in about $10 worth of that stuff and a tiny 18/0 spotter brush getting some crazy details.

Piper Doone is the author of the highly rated gay erotic romance, Playing Hard To Forget, available from Amazon and Dreamspinner Press and your favorite ebook retailer in paperback and ebook, and the upcoming Something To Die For, releasing March 2015.

She’s never had an art lesson. And it shows.