If you have kids, one day one of them is going to ask for a hedgehog because that’s what kids on Tumblr do.
If you get this hedgehog, chances are another kid will ask for his or her own hedgehog.
This is where you need to start getting comfortable with using the word “no.”
Hedgehogs are smelly. Hedgehogs are fantastic escape artists. And hedgehogs are horny. If you have a male and female, they will find a way to mate even if you house them in separate, warring countries.
Sooner or later, your two smelly hedgehogs will turn into 11 smelly hedgehogs.
And you will fall in love with one of those 9 smelly babies. And, if you manage to get rid of the other 8 hedgehogs through Craigslist or, after all else fails, the local exotic animal amnesty day through your local fish and wildlife commission, where they boast of a 100% adoption rate with pre-screened adopters, you will still have 3 smelly hedgehogs and 2 children who have all but abandoned their promise to clean out those smelly cages three times a week.
It is now almost midnight and I should be writing. Instead, I dealt with a near endless reboot loop on my laptop thanks to the massive Windows clusterfuck of a Service Pack update and then I cleaned 3 hedgehog cages.
So, in short, don’t get hedgehogs and don’t update your laptop. Both seem like the right thing to do on the surface, but both really stink.
Piper Doone is the author of the highly rated gay erotic romance, Playing Hard To Forget, available from Amazon and Dreamspinner Press and your favorite ebook retailer in paperback and ebook, and the upcoming Something To Die For, releasing March 2015.
She still loves those stupid hedgehogs even though they smell. She always buys them those gross baby meat sticks and hand feeds them when no one’s looking. She has, however, put Fort Knox-like security on both ladies because she isn’t about any more hedgehog babies.